#the ppl i talk to and made friends along the way matter most

[ruiiplume]

Damn not a day goes by without a rich fuckass be ruining lives of creatives from all corners of everywhere

he's THAT insecure fam

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for yelling at my friend?

this ones a long one.

bg info

so we're both 15, and he's done this thing a couple times where he'll create a new groupchat and exclude certain people who he's not as close to.

to me, this is mean, and i've spoken to him calmly about it before but he kinda just brushes it off and says he's just including close friends.

its also relevant that previously i may have enabled him. like, theres a girl neither of us like and we'd make fun of her sometimes, though not to her face, which is probably worse. i'm trying to be nicer to her but i dont get along with her very well.

on top of that, the origin of the gc we use now is that there was a bigger one and he told me "i just don't feel comfortable with some of these people". so i created a new group chat and let him pick who got added, with the agreement that we'd have to come to an agreement before adding more ppl, just for the sake of everyones comfort.

not sure if this is actually relevant or if im just salty but he doesn't spend time with the people in the gc at school, he sits with a group of juniors n seniors for lunchtimes and only comes around every so often. not sure if he's just spending one-on-one time with everyone or if he's actually not hanging out with us anymore.

into the actual inciting incident

today, we were talking about the groupchat to a friend we'd made recently and added today. he offhandedly mentioned one of the smaller groupchats he'd made for closer friends, and how no one had used it. i got really mad about how casual he was about something i thought was mean of him to do, so i told him something like "i just think that it's a rude thing to do."

and he said something like "well im just including our close friends", we kept going like this for a bit, and I yelled at him "why are the only people that matter the ones YOU like?" and there was more of a kerfuffle i don't remember, but i did in fact cry (self-provoked, he didnt say anything). i apologized for being so dramatic, and he left. it was class time so i left too, and my sister drives me and she had work so i left school really fast.

we have a little routine where we watch a show together on call though and he said yes when i asked about that. after asking him abt our show, i texted him n apologized for yelling at him n asked to talk but i said that i still thought that the way he treats people kinda sucks. no response.

what people irl said

like one person said that i was brave? and that they shoulve said something. the girl we added didnt say anything, and my other friend asked if i was okay after it was all over

why i might be an asshole

i think im being kinda on a moral high-horse when ive enabled and even kinda participated in this behavior before and ofc, yelling was very much an overreaction on my part

additionally, its not exactly a choice to not get along with some people?

why he might be an asshole

excluding people on purpose and ignoring my attempts to talk things out.

with the bias filter on, this behavior is pretty self-centered, because he doesn't hang out with us much at all, and he's never very invested in any of our interests or issues, but he still gets to dictate who gets to be in the "close friends" group chat?

for any advice

i really don't want to drop him as a friend, not just because i like spending time with him, which is most of it. the other part of it is that im really scared of what will happen if he gets mad at me, because i don't want to break up the friendgroup into people taking sides, and to a lesser extent im scared that if that does happen no one will take my side in that conflict. it just doesn't seem worth it to get into a blowout with him about this when i don't want to lose anyone.

thanks for reading all that, this is mostly just to organize my thoughts. render moral judgement at will.

What are these acronyms?

[okkottsus]

I usually dont mind ppl having different interpretations of characters and relationships, but this is just an insult to my boy’s character and his connection to nagi.

Reo may have developed an interest in nagi bc of his talent (and i find the notion of him doing the same thing he hated his family for at the start very interesting btw), but since then he obviously has developed an emotional attachment, and to him, it has to be nagi. he’s met people with even more skill than him in blk but he still hasnt spared them a 1/100 of the attention he gives to his best friend.

ofc i think it was important for them to improve on their own and maybe it was premature of him to go back to devoting himself to nagi so quickly, but i truly believe its bc he understood nagi’s perspective since he “abandoned him” and his true intentions.

the difference in their perspectives is very clear even before they enter blue lock:

at that point winning the world cup was just reo’s dream but even then, to reo, the most important thing was for them to be together until the end (nagi was the one who made him promise that would be the case too !!) , while nagi was content with just going along with him bc he started caring abt him as a person

until they lost to isagi’s team. from that moment, he decided (and was right imo) that they need to do whatever they can, even if they have to take separate paths for some time, to get stronger.

and nagi didnt “lose sight of their og goal” what are they talking about?? nagi literally mentions/thinks about their dream to be the best together every chance he gets?? he even got mad at reo cause he thought his friend was the one who forgot about their dream. he thought he was taking the vital steps to make it a reality and was frustrated reo couldnt see that:

reo felt betrayed because he cared about nagi himself as much as he cared about their dream and thought that nagi used him as a stepping stone to move forward alone, when actually it would be more accurate to say that nagi views everyone except for reo as a stepping stone. (i dont blame reo for this, since even tho nagi tried to communicate that hes doing it for them, he did a terrible job of it).

but during their latest talk reo had already worked on himself and had acknowledged the fact that he was in the wrong for assuming that them being together no matter the cost was the right thing

so when nagi approached him and explained himself a little better this time (boy was shocked when he realised how reo took their separation and put in a little bit more effort lol)

reo finally understood how their desires intertwine now. how can people claim that reo sees nagi as a tool when its more of the other way around; meaning reo sees himself as a tool for making nagi the best striker in the world and he already declared that to Ego before:

and again now:

plus saying that he and nagi arent friends and they are just using each other is so out of touch with everything we’ve seen so far. reo’s devotion to nagi aside, nagi too cares for reo a lot outside of soccer. even after he left reo, he still got excited to see him and talk to him despite everything; to him it was obvious they would continue to interact no matter which team each of them was on:

and he also felt bad for hurting him and expressed the hope that he would forgive him

the only thing that i wish would happen now is for nagi to apologise to reo face to face instead of only doing it in his own thoughts, and for reo to also talk about why he was hurt. but i feel like they understood each other either way without many words, because in the end, their bond is just that strong.

they now both want to succeed more than they ever have before and have stopped being their complacent selves we met during the first selection. they are both thinking far into the future and not just within blue lock, so whether they keep moving forward together or separated from now on, it will be knowing they are working towards their shared dream.

[crushedgraham]

Widowmaker x younger gf headcanons pls

Widowmaker x Younger gf HC's

probably made her ooc but i think these are funny

she's, to put it lightly, a boomer...

ik she's only in her 30's but girlie lives in an isolated castle and spends her days journaling.

literally doesn't understand memes nowadays

will stare blankly or side eye you when you show her tiktoks

when you two are driving together, she's always reluctant to give you aux bc new music is just...unappealing to her

(she secretly listens to kali uchis, nicki minaj and lady gaga when she thinks she's alone. olivia sent you a video from the cameras of her rapping along to chun-li and you've never been the same.)

ANYWAYS...speaking of driving. she almost always drives bc she wants to give you that passenger princess treatment but girl strap in bc...her road rage is literally so bad- 💀

ITS WORSE BC SHES FRENCH TOO

will literally weave through lanes while cursing in french about how slow these ppl are

she tries to keep up her mysterious aura around you by acting uninterested when you watch tv but you know she's secretly having the time of her life hearing that drama

if you like k-dramas? she'll laugh at those dramatic scenes where the main girl's doing those ugly scream-cries (NO HATE IM KOREAN)

i feel like the age/generational gap lowkey makes her sad sometimes

like she'll see the banter/connection you have with your friends and she'll feel a dull ache in her chest because she knows she'll never have that with you

not only that but a large part of her also worries that as she ages more than you, you won't find her as attractive (she won't ever admit this but after her skin turned blue, she felt hideous. it was just a reminder of the monster she had turned into)

she spends her days meticulously meal planning nutritionally rich food and skin care routines that help with wrinkles

you always try your best to reassure her that you'll always find her beautiful, no matter how she ages

and those nights where she let's her guard down to talk about her insecurities? your hand will rest against her cheek as tears run down her face and she'll turn her face to kiss the palm of your hand

she won't say much but you can tell that's how she expresses her gratitude

amelie's funny in her own way too!

she'll just do the most random shit like making a dirty face at a dog that wants a little too much attention from you and you'll laugh while kissing her cheek

or when she sees you in an outfit that highlights your body just right she'll go "Oh là là!" while smirking and you just start laughing bc that phrase is just so silly and it caught you off gaurd

if you post pictures of yourself on social media, amelie will definitely make one of her own just to patrol the comments every now and then to make sure no one's getting too friendly with you

(someone commented "😈💦💦" one time and the look on her face was priceless "I do Not like the insinuations of these tiny images. would you like me to kill them 😠" "babe they're just emojis-")

[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

Tokyo Revengers but Mikey has the same coping mechanism as Sunny (Omori)

It's an incomplete post so anyone can add things if they want!

'Manjiro' will be used to talk about irl!Mikey while 'Mikey' will refer to Headspace!Mikey

Sanzu is called Haruchiyo and takes on Basil's role (aKa he's important but Mikey doesn't want to either make him tag along/a member of the party or to confine him on the picnic blanket)

'Sanzu' would be The Stranger

Takemichi also has The Stranger role (in timelines where he truly left an impression on Mikey - so probably not in the first two unfortunately)

Shinichiro and Emma both play Mari's role

-> Shinichiro & Takemichi being the only one to call Mikey Manjiro

Senju and Izana share a common role (in Bonten)

The party is made of Toman founding members

Baji, Kazutora, Pah-chin have a dynamic similar to Aubrey and Kel

Draken takes on Hero's role, Mitsuya too, a bit

Draken is the one who takes pictures!!! (like in canon :) )

-> "Did I take this photo? Something about it feels so familiar... No... Emma, she's-"

(Draken has little flags to make Mikey (or other party members) happy during fights)

(Mitsuya is the one who can cook)

Unbread Twins = Kawata Twins (with their ramen shop ofc, no bakery here)

other members are a bit scattered everywhere, mostly the playground ofc (which is a mix of: Toman's gathering place, the playground Baji&Mikey used to play in as children with a huge jungle gym), and the garden and dojo in the Sano house)

There's also the beach which can be reached mostly by Toman members

There's a train but they move around in motorbikes (and Mucho's car)

Motor shop to fix the bikes! Shinichiro can be found there with other BD members :)! (for some reasons, Mikey doesn't like it when Baji and Kazutora are there, so they have to find alternatives to fix their bikes (most of the time they ask another party member to take their bike))

Somehow, Manjiro subconsciously remember the story of Taiyaki-kun so there's a lake where Taiyaki-kun lives (he wants to leave but he can't :( )

It's the dreamworld so everyone is happy and has good relationships with everyone else

Somwhere there's a plane. It doesn't fly, but it's there, lying on the ground. It mustn't broke. (when it does, it leads to Blackspace) (Sanzu always tries to lead Mikey here)

Manjiro/Mikey don't fear a lot of things but things that may upset/trigger them are: mirrors/any type of reflection; whenever he sees a plane (won't make him go back to Whitespace but it's really close sometimes); (people needing to go to the) hospitals (no matter if it's bc they're sick or badly hurt) & probably other things but they don't come to mind sorry

Mikey's 'Something' is just.. everyone. They're all horrifying in a different way, but each person Mikey has failed haunts him (emphasis on Izana & Senju during Bonten)

The Somethings telling him 'I love you' in Blackspace 🥹

Important flowers would be black lilies (curse), and red and white spider lilies at the very end :) (Red spider lilies symbolizing the inability to meet again, farewell, death, loss, abandonment and White spider lilies symbolizing rebirth, meeting (anew), purity)

Also poppies since in Hanakotoba they can symbolize fun-loving and success, and in the more Western flower language they symbolize peaceful sleep and death, remembrance/remembering the fallen and renewal/resurrection among other things

(not a flower professional - just did some google researches so be careful with what I'm saying)

Whitespace:

Old blanket

NES (that he irl has in his bedroom and must hold a lot of memories of family/friends game night)

Mewo being replaced by Peke-j? But Mikey is not close to Peke-j(/not that close from Chifuyu (unlike other ppl)) from what we know. Peke-j could also be used as a way to show how guilty Manjiro is about Baji (and Chifuyu? Kazutora?)

moto figurines laying around? Little flags?

Probably wouldn't have a laptop

The journal+drawings stay tho. He deserves to vent

Deserves to keep the tissue box and cry, too

Blackspace:

Mikey goes in and out of it; he never chooses if he pops up in Whitespace, Dreamworld or Blackspace. It depends on how is his mind irl. There are also some places where he can directly enter it (ex: whenever the Concorde is broken)

Haruchiyo keeps dying. Or having his lower jaw removed out of nowhere (also happens in headspace -> leads Mikey to go back to Whitespace on the spot)

If we do put Peke-j in this AU as Mewo replacement, which choice do you think Mikey would make in the Cat dissection room with our dear mister the Cat Butler? /genuine

The three first timeline are very similar. Senju and Haruchiyo/Sanzu have a lesser role here. In the 3rd/Bad Toman, Kazutora is here and is hurt less by Mikey (whereas if he ever is present in the two firsts, Mikey won't be merciful)

Manila:

"You loved them and you killed them. You should just die." — hits more in this timeline than any other

Rather than Manjiro completely loosing against Mikey; there's a feeling of acceptance at the end of their fight from both parts. They can't go back, but they can't go further either.

Plus, Manjiro never fought for a will to live to start with

Actually I'm not sure if there'd be a fight to start with

Izana, S62 & Kakucho are not present in the headspace of this timeline

Bonten:

there's an entire space dedicated to Senju and Izana. It's filled with always-falling snow and everlasting sakura; the party can make snowmen and other snow constructions! There's a pond with a giant majestic beta fish somewhere, too (maybe it could interact with Taiyaki-kun, maybe not)

Edit: They live in a snow castle

those two are either safe in this place (*cough* until the snow and sakura start to get tainted by blood out of nowhere and they disappear and the flowers wilt *cough* The snow melts a bit under the warmth of blood and suddenly it's less a childhood joy and more just... Hellishly cold. bc the cold refuses to leave ofc *cough*) or with Shinichiro and Emma on the picnic blanket. Kakucho is always found around Izana so he can be found in the snow, too! (He's the one staying there when Izana & Senju disappear; he's panicking and extremely worried)

*cough* canonical Oyasumi ending *cough*

Timeline where the Somethings are the most troublesome and present

eat irl then go puke in the toilet

sleeps less and sleeps badly

Kanto Manji & Final timeline:

Still developing, mostly Whitespace

Mikey and Manjiro are not two different entities yet - Manjiro is not at that point where he suppresses all of his traumas when he's in the Dreamworld as Mikey

not a great emphasis on Senju since she doesn't die, but she's still there, having a lesser role

Draken, on the other hand- (it doesn't last long anyway since he travels back in time no long after)(I mean. it's still three months so maybe it's a bit long)

The "I have to tell you something"-timeline/ending, if there has to be one

[towriteloveontheirarms]

hii, i’m not sure if ur recieving requests rn but i’m jst gna shoot my shot

could i request reader x xavier where shes not the dating type and ppl have tried and failed to try and ask her out, date her, etc. and then comes along xavier who’s determined to take her out on a date (respectfully)

and yeahh

Oh my god I´m so sorry this took forever to write! I just hated everything I brought onto the page. I hope you still enjoy dear <3

Not the dating type

pairing: Xavier Thorpe x fem!reader

synopsis: You had never given much thought to dating, but what happens when, by accident, you meet a certain artist. Will your stance on the matter change?

warnings: none

word count: 1.4k

You had never given much thought to dating. Not that you had anything against it, it was just that it felt a little too superficial whenever someone did ask you out. You were happy spending the time apart from your friends and schoolwork with yourself. Which right now you wished there was more of. 

“Why didn´t you go out with them? They´re like super cute...!”, your friend asked you for the nth time. 

“Do we have to discuss this again? Why would I go out with someone who I know isn´t even interested in the same things as I am in the slightest and that doesn´t know me at all? Plus, you know I like spending time on my own. I just want to have a good time and write every once in a while.”, you take a bite from your lunch. “Despite, don´t you think they are like the blandest person to ever exist? Like just really bland?” 

For the nth time your friend lets out a distressed sigh at your answer. Though even she can´t help herself to not chuckle at the emphasis on ´really bland´. “I take this as my sign to not even ask you about this year's dance?” 

“Not unless you want to hear last year's answer all over again. Isn´t it a bit too early to think about that anyway?”

She shrugs and the two of you finish the meal talking about an assignment before you have to head into different directions for afternoon classes.

That evening after lunch you go back outside into the quad. Most students are busy with god knows what and so it is not too crowded. The air is still warm and so you decide to lean onto the cool stone wall. Fully concentrated on the writing in front of you, you don´t notice the tall figure looming over you, trying to get to exactly that wall. At least you can feel a finger tapping your shoulder.

“Sorry, but you are kind of in my way.”, looking up you see into a pair of green eyes.

“Oh, I´m sorry. I didn´t even notice.”, you hold up the journal. “That looks really good by the way. Did you paint that?”

“Uh… yeah… Thank you.”

“Anyway I better go get back inside. I´m sorry again for sitting in your way.”, you smile at him while you dust yourself off and then walk back inside.

This would happen regularly afterwards. You´d always sit down in that same spot and when he eventually came over to continue painting you´d talk for a bit. Mostly about art at first. You asked Xavier about his paintings and how he found himself picking up drawing and painting and he would ask you about the stories you wrote in that journal he never saw you without. As time progressed you found the conversations had taken to more personal topics as well. You found yourselves greeting each other in passing and before you knew it you thought of the schools resident tortured artist, as your friend and the other students had dubbed him, as a friend.

“So what do you want to do today?”, you asked the artist curiously.

“Actually I wanted to show you something. Come on, it´s not far from here.”, he seemed a little more nervous than usually.

“Alright.”, you made it a point not to mention your observation but quite some time after wandering through the woods you couldn´t bite back a joking question. “You´re not trying to kidnap me, are you?”

“What? No, don´t worry. We should be there soon.”

Indeed it only took a couple more steps before you stood outside an old shed.

“I´m sorry where are we right now?”, you stay back a bit as he takes off the heavy chain to open the door.

“I found this shed a couple of years ago and Weems let me clean it out and use it as an art studio.”

Stepping in, you get hit by just walls and canvases filled with paintings.

“Wow, you must be here often.”, you can´t hide the amazement in your voice entirely.

“Pretty much every chance I get…”

You spend the afternoon in the Studio, talking like you do until you find what you assume is another canvas hidden behind a big piece of fabric. 

“Hey, Xavier, what’s underneath that?”, you point to it.  

“Oh, it’s not done yet.”, he brushes the question aside quickly. 

Once more you don’t push it. 

The next time you get to the shed it’s gone and the times after you don’t see it either, so you slowly forget about it.  

When you go there one evening to have some time truly to yourself and write, like you had done a lot lately, you catch Xavier with it. 

Too far into the music and his thoughts he doesn’t hear the door open or close. Neither does he hear you walk up behind him. Standing on your tiptoes to look over his shoulder you see it. A picture of you. Only then does he realise you are there. Trying to hide the canvas as fast as possible, he couldn´t do much for you to unsee it.

“Hey… I didn´t think you were coming here today.”, his face start turning redder by the second.

“Yeah, I just needed some time away from everyone else…”, God this was awkward.

“Oh, okay”, this ends the conversation for that moment. You go to sit at the small table to do your thing and Xavier does his. This time the silence between you isn´t as comforting or comfortable as it usually was and so you speak up again.

“Are we gonna talk about the painting or not? I know what you usually paint. Is there something I need to know?”, you can hear the second chair scraping before he speaks.

“No, nothing like that at least.”, he thinks about what to say next. “Well, I didn´t plan on doing it like this, but… I had this dream over and over again since I was young. Like really young. Of just that scene. Ever since we started talking it came back twice as often. And I know what you said about the other guys that asked you out, but… I wanted to ask you if, maybe some time, you would want to go on a date with me?”

This time it was on you to be silent. “You are really sweet, Xavier. I just… I don´t think I can say yes to that. Not only because of what you heard, but you basically just broke up with Bianca too. Enid would have this on her blog God knows how fast. You know what position that would put both of us in. I´m sorry, I better get back to school.”

Things got a bit weird for a while after this. You never stopped talking, but that afternoon never left the back of your head. Ultimately you pulled yourselves together though and when he asked you for a second time, on the day of the Poe cup, things went over all smoother. However it got you thinking things over.

When he asked you out only a short time later for a date to the Rave`N you surprised both of you with a yes.

“Wait, really? You´re not just saying yes because…?”, he asked.

“Yes, really Xavi.”, you chuckled. “In fact I think this is going to be a fun evening.”

“What made you change your mind?”

“After you asked me before the Poe cup I think I realized that I actually like being with you not only as a friend, unlike I had thought… It also felt different like when anyone else asked me.”

And you were right. Though you didn´t stay long at the dance itself and headed out to spend the evening away from all the loud music. You laughed a lot and by the end Xavier brought you back to your room. Not hearing any concerns about being caught by a teacher.

“Tonight was great, but you better go before you get caught.”, you still giggle. “Go.”

He still doesn´t move or say anything when you open the door to get into your room. Just as you opened the zipper if the dress, your phone gives off a high pitched ping. ´You were too fast. I wanted to ask if you want to get coffee tomorrow. As kind of a second date?´

Rolling your eyes, chuckling again you send back a ´Sure. That sounds great 😊´

You think you can hear the buzzing of a phone and a whispered celebration outside, but blame it on the setting in tiredness.

[transpat]

jihyun's been my favorite since ep 1 and the focus on him these two eps made me so happy lmao it's my first time seeing a character that's friendless not bc they're bad w ppl or shy or anxious but bc they simply want to be that way and don't like mixing w ppl they know they won't get along w.

like it's not that he doesn't know how to get along w strangers he's good at it he just doesn't want to make that effort for most ppl and I'm exactly that too I judge ppl by vibes and know when it's unlikely I'll get along w someone so I just keep my distance I don't want to get to know them and I don't want them to know me either.

that also does kinda we misjudge ppl like he misjudged aeri putting her first in the category of 'I want nothing to do w that' then realizing she's actually easy and fun to be around. I really do wanna see him make more friends bc this whole distancing himself from others thing definitely has roots in his gayness he grew up in the countryside, studied in an all boys school on top of that he must have wanted to get out of there so bad, to get out and finally be himself and that's why he's also annoyed his (v straight) friend tagged along a reminder of the cage he grew up in.

to him at this stage making friends is pointless bc they're all the same kind of cishets he watched growing up and not only does he have v little in common w them but also he's aware that no matter how chummy they get w him now once they know who he is they'll get uncomfortable or outright violent.

god I really do hope he gets a friend he can openly talk about himself to and about his romance w/o having the hide the facts of his crush's gender.

[fallen-faerie]

ive been living with sensory issues my whole life, i freak out when someone makes small changes to my routine, like i hate doing spontaneous things, most of the time i hate physical affection, & i have such a hard time socializing & making friends. i have bipolar disorder and other disorders like anxiety, etc. but my treatment for those things doesn't help with these other issues i have. i hate being like this and i want to work toward change but i don't know what to do to work toward it. 😞

like i said i have trouble making friends and i always have since i was a kid. i've always felt like an alien compared to other ppl. and that's fine because i prefer being alone. but i hate that i can't act normal in social situations and ppl always think im rude or weird when im not trying to be 😢 and it sucks because i kinda have to be in social settings sometimes because i have children. and i dread it for these reasons every time. nobody is interested in the same things as me. and when i talk about my interests ppl tell me im too obsessed with something or tell me its weird altogether. which hurts. and when i am able to make "friends" i always get taken advantage of because i can never tell when someone is taking advantage of me and my kindness or if they have malicious intentions with me. and i feel stupid every time because my bf will tell me they are "obviously playing you" or my mom will say stuff like "can't you tell that they aren't interested?" or the one i always get is "why can't you see that this guy is flirting with you/trying to sleep with you."

idk if im just having a panic attack or a mental breakdown or what. but this has been building up inside of me for years. i feel so stupid and weird. i have to carry lotion around with me because if my hands don't have moisture on them at all times i literally sit there with chills going up my spine and i can't touch anything. certain clothes make me want to rip my skin off. and my family gets annoyed every time i have to run back in the house because i forgot to grab it. which just adds to the guilt i feel for being this way and i can't control these issues no matter how hard i try.

i've literally made so many lists and "rules" for myself on how to act around ppl and i try so hard to follow them just to get through whatever event is going on.

i think thats why i throw myself into my interests and use them to escape reality so much. once i find something i like i become obsessed with it forever and i talk about it so much to the point where my bf tells me its too much. certain characters and shows are the only thing that brings me comfort sometimes. i have so many unnecessary lists and categories for my interests. i know its very time consuming and pointless but just having them makes me feel better. like pinterest for example is my best friend lol. making these lists and stuff just soothes me in a way. as stupid as that sounds. but even tho it comforts me it still makes me feel stupid because ive never met anyone else who does that.

i've never ever spoken about this stuff online/publicly before. mainly because of embarrassment and fear of being bullied for it since ive already been relentlessly harassed for a million other things. i just have so much anxiety all the time. and doing pointless things helps with it but i want to stop feeling this way. or at least have answers as to why i am this way so maybe i can fix it. im tired of feeling awkward or different from other ppl. i want to be normal and pleasant to be around. i want to get along with the other parents at school functions instead of being scared to talk to ppl. i can't even make eye contact with anyone i talk to. ive tried since i was LITERALLY a child and no matter what i always get scared or nervous and look away. and its really noticeable to other ppl because they've mentioned it to me.

i'm posting this to vent but also maybe someone reading this has gone through the same thing or can help me. because i feel so hopeless and im scared im going to be this way forever. ive only been able to find info on the sensory thing and ive found that there is no way to get rid of it. ive tried everything and ive given up on that. but i know i can change my actions and how i interact with ppl if i can just figure out WHY i am like this.

pls don't laugh at me or say anything mean if you choose to comment on this post. i already have so much anxiety and fear about posting it. i don't want sympathy or anything like that. i just need help 😞🥺😢

i have an appointment booked for seeing a psychiatrist but that isn't until november i haven't seen one since i was a little kid. so i'm hoping to maybe get some answers in the meantime.

i already can't work and im getting disability soon because my bipolar is so crippling. it affects my ability to function so much. and i have these other problems on top of it. the fact that i can't even make a living like "normal" ppl makes me feel bad about myself already. and since i can't get a job or a career i want i just want to feel normal in my everyday life and around ppl AT THE VERY LEAST.

[synthetic-sonata]

i just consumed so much sparklecare content and made an au of my oc pink . say hi to razzle (b) dazzle(d)! he is now everyone elses problem.

more info under da cut

he's very similar to uni in some ways, and that isn't intentional i've had pink for a WHILE. they would b good friends tho. i gave him mega-sads instead of ultra mega-sads ( normalest sentence ) just to differentiate. Bc i do not want ppl to call him a clone of uni they are very much diff people just with the same sort of outward flavor.

speaking of which he probably has more afflictions i just didnt know how to sparklecare-ify having ADHD and probable BPD. nor did i rlly want to make terms for it. likely has a physical affliction as well before coming to the hospital i just didn't know what to give him

he has two prosthetics! one prosthetic arm, one leg. yes, this obviously means those two limbs were removed from him somehow. most people assume and theorize the staff at sparklecare did this during a surgery, but... pink gets very dodgy about this topic and never answers it in a clear way.

due to him being very sociable and easy to get along with he's friends with most patients . sort of like a Hospital Celebrity. he's known and he's cool and he's chill so ppl like him.

also i'm not sure if it matters but the bro and scatterbrained art is pulled from the official website, which is prob obvious

his favorite holidays are palentines day and kissmas and its obvious. loves anything associated with love and that whole aesthetic.

either has the default rainbow armband or the ITP band ( he's usually pretty compliant .. mostly out of fear. he does and will join or help escape attempts sometimes tho )

sleeps a lot. possibly narcolepsy possibly just not that ( like. napping a lot or depression naps or naps bc hes dissociating and or understimulated. )

more traits that fit him that i couldn't fit in da sheet:

creative

he's often found doodling idly or singing and making music in his spare time. he's expressed a desire to become an idol or an actor in his future. ( referencing how canon pink/razz is an idol robot lol )

sleazy/flirtatious

honestly this one is a give or take but it's a trait he eventually has. he definitely flirts with people often and casually. whether or not he actually sleeps around is a give or take though because i can see it either way, but, probably. he has an Allure to him. and he's. hypersexual so i mean yea.

egotistical/self-absorbed

this one isn't super bad, but he hypes himself up a lot and compliments himself casually. it's mostly to make him feel better about himself... but he does sometimes put other people down in order to put him up. it's always jokingly, at least... mostly, but it can become a problem later down the line. it doesn't feel good to be called lesser to someone!

tech-savvy

he's probably edited videos and audio a lot. and is or wanted to be a streamer/youtuber.

outgoing/extroverted

outgoing and affectionate are sort of hand in hand for pink. although, he has a very high social battery.... somehow, and is always around people or talking to him. he's also pretty impulsive.

affectionate

sometimes overly so. he'll even be affectionate or call people nicknames who he really should be at odds with - this includes staff. he's incredibly chill with most of the staff, or at least seems to be... giving them all nicknames and talking with them as if they were casual friends ( they aren't ). or it's to annoy them. it's not really clear with razz, ever.

presumably, this is a bad way of coping with how shitty people treat him by acting as if they're his friends - or something.

sensitive ( if you told razzy you hated him or smth he'd take it super personally but he'd come off as not offended but he'd think about it way too much. surprisingly he doesn't do this with like threats. he's numb to threats almost entirely )

conflict avoidant ( mostly explained in chill but they prob should be separate things there just wasnt enough space lol )

soda/sweets junkie

juvenile

he casually swears a lot and says a lot of sex jokes or things like that. Very casually, once again.

dissociative

his response to anything traumatic is usually just being really zoned out and dissociative after - due to this people think he doesn't really have a proper response to trauma. he does! people just don't think the zoning out counts as one! he has others, but he tries to hide any other trauma response for when he's alone.

fear of hospitals/medical stuff/etc

surprisingly, this didn't happen after being admitted to sparklecare, but it very much didn't help. goes hand in hand with claustrophobia and a lot of other fears he won't admit to. he's gotten numb over time. it still messes with him badly, but that mostly shows in the form of him dissociating... or in rare cases, having a panic attack. he only really shows emotion when he's in very very bad mental health or alone. at the very least he has people to talk to - if he didn't, he'd likely have completely broken by now.

thats a lot of things and i could probably find more to describe him but yea. He should prob also be more saturated n simplified but ehhhhhh. My oc my funny my silly he gets to slightly bend rules cuz he isnt in the comic its fiiine.

( plus its kinda symbolic of how many people in universe would see pink as surprisingly mentally well-adjusted and fine considering the situation he's in, which reflects in him not being 100% saturated. but he is. it just doesn't show outwardly )

[golbrocklovely]

idk if this is gonna be a rant or a vent or whatever, but it's just something i felt like talking about.

something i find interesting about me is that if you knew me in person, irl, you would think i was a ghost in a way. i almost never post anywhere on any of my actual social medias. i think i'm technically the most active on twitter, but like only three-ish ppl follow me that are still active on there that know me.

yesterday i took some pics of myself, something i never really do anymore. and i posted them today on my insta. i only ever post to insta when it's my birthday, so some of the last couple posts have just been selfies of me getting older lol

and the pics i posted today…. no one has liked them. and i don't know why, but something about that made me kinda sad.

i'm not sure why, tho. anyone that follows me on my personal insta isn't really anyone that knows me anymore. tbh there was a time i was planning on deleting my insta. something about being a complete ghost, someone no one knows where to check up on, was kinda fun. the idea of two ppl saying "hey do you remember angelica? i wonder what she's up to" and them not being able to find me anywhere made me kinda happy.

but i think seeing no one, not even one person, like my pics hurts in a weird way. it makes me jump to the darkest conclusions i've had all along - that no one actually really cares about me. that everyone leaves for a reason and that reason is me not being enough. that even when i felt cute and wanted to post about it, no one agreed.

but then i have to step back and be like…. dear lord, angelica, you take shit WAY too seriously.

like in the grand scheme of everything, who the FUCK cares how many likes you get on a pic of yourself? who cares if you update frequently or update once a year? none of this type of shit matters.

i had archived the post an hour ago, only to unarchive it bc the reason why i posted the pics was bc i thought i looked cute. it's not more complicated than that. and if no one likes it, it's not the end of the world.

idk. i think a lot of this sadness i feel also stems from not having friends irl anymore. i know i talk to a lot of you on here, and that's great. honestly it's the only way i socialize anymore that isn't from physically working in retail (where i talk to ppl everyday) or from just living with my family still. but i miss having a social life, of having ppl to talk to that know me. and i'm in a weird place where i have no idea how to make new friends. especially those my own age lol

(also let's be serious for a moment insta is dying bc the only ppl that post on it anymore are those that make money from it)

[flovverworks]

disjointed (akira) pt2 ch1-8 thoughts. srry ch9&10 but....i cant stay away from alchstar main story update any longer....

the fact akira tears up like 3 times in 8 chs vs djgr who tears up like once (in the manga!!!!!! not even ingame!!!!!) after leaving zinkenstill cuz the sky is pretty makes me. explode. in my head akira cried that first night too cuz lord thats a lot happening for one tiny heart. anyway the fact most? of the main story times akira cries are because of the relief once somethings stressfuls over & the like makes me....@_@ akira........

akira is SO normal.....SO SO normal..........i love that about them.....struggling to find the words to respond to vincent......their feelings towards living in society.....this lonely room.......(but also the concept of akira only finding the room lonely After theyve gotten sacri because they will now always know what its like to have a companion in there at all times......pet owners do u get me). anyway ive called akira normal plenty of times (and its important to me<3 the more normie i can make akira the happier i am) but everytime they add to it i get sooOOoOOoOoo i rly do love it. akiras just a little dude. who doesnt always know what to say. who wishes they knew what to say. who likes people. who doesnt like people. who wants to be together. who wants to be alone. (billionth speech about akira and the feeling of belonging & being depended on). akira whos just an average person who suddenly got pushed into a leader role, ‘my wizards’ 1.5 my beloved, and working more and more on becoming more leaderlike i................

im so sad they dont draw official art of the akiras like All The Time cuz akira is SO much of a character (which makes it hellish for me cuz the more a character speaks the more i struggle with writing them), but akira is everything and STILL. WHERES MY OFFICIAL ART. I AM ON MY KNEES. MY AKIRAS....

but really i feel akira learns so much from the wizards. bradleys speech? about leadership? give us worth..... i think that along with the feelings about trust..... i dont know how to put it into words but its an entire feeling of “believe in ur friends”. theres just something with akira growing as a person by meeting the wizards.

child wizards.........please....that entire thing is still so funny to me LOLT_T i wanna write that. figaro realizing akira&co r outside the door. akira being SO proud of the eastern wizards. nero. faust. akira checking the western wizards first before letting vincent in,,,,,,good job akira. akiras feelings on chloe summarizes mine too, thats exactly how i talk about chloe. ‘i like him:]’. akira doing their UTMOST to praise the northern wizards lord, the fact all of them PAUSED before going >:] im...... (bradley always using ppl as arm chairs is so funny too i rly love that). akira trying to avoid power matters n northern wizards just going its ok lets make a ranking and then starting betting..u guys....i def think theres something funny how the top of the rankings didnt even get addressed (snow&white...). but also mithra cheering on lennox so much vs ‘yeah figaros losing power:/’ instead of trying to hype up figaro regardless cuz he also is with rutile&mitile a lot means so much to me. theres something about it. but also mithras whole ‘rutile n mitile should be right below me in the rankings’ u r SO much. mitiles prophecy in relation to mithras promise makes me dizzy still.

thinking about the end of that night like. arthur going to the castle like ‘:] today went well:] oz even scolded me:]’ while chloe & oz are both miserable is funny (coping). but honestly i love oz so much.............hes so cool..........central wizard oz...........waiting for arthur to return to the castle first...T_T guhhhh

but also thats why in the scenarios in my head akira cries cuz that entire vincent exchange. along w everything during the rankings (owens talk about arthur....mithras wording about figaro.......), getting to know about arthur........its ssooooooooooooo much

the amount of times the wizards called akira by name alrdy made me dizzy by this part (seeing akira as a friend..........ppl using names instead of titles alrdy Gets Me in fancontent with things like this, so it being used INGAME.....IN THIS KIND OF WAY......), and then tying it into akira not wanting to name the sacri cuz ‘its a substitute for me. i dont want to get attached to something thatll disappear’ into murr @_@............................... the mithra the part after is so unreal theyre so funny. anyway are ALL of them gonna call akira by name before pt2 is over........i kinda wanna take notes at what part which ppl uses it but......thats energy. (thinks about bradleys speech again). haugh. (BUT ALSO with vincent? ‘if we become friends, let me call u by name’. lays on the floor

both shylock & murr having provoked oz is SO funny tho. especially considering how shylock acts when murr does it. i lov shylock. u go shylock. im on ur side

all of them being so ‘yes lets do this’ about protecting arthur...T_T (especially figaro since..MITILE.) oz is so cool (pt2)

sakunantokachan,,,,,,,i didnt think it was gonna have more than 1 pose LOOLT_T my surprise when i went to check what akira calls it in jp. its so cute. so funny. i want the entire ‘protect akira’ plan to backfire and turn into ‘akira protects sacrichan’ and then has to be scolded. thats all i want. i am begging

akiras kawawawa............URE the cute one...

[spotaus]

Mm. Oc rambling again: Phishbone Edition since I don't talk about him enough.

Phishbone was made with all intents abd purposes to be like if Dream and Error were one guy abd also like puzzles (and were also a papyrus).

Phish loved his brother Sans, and he loves all of his other, more multiversal, brothers. Even if they're not anything like his brother (Ink, Swap, etc.) and even if they are too much like his brother in ways he never saw (Dust, Killer, Geno, etc.). Even if they aren't even technically his brother at all, (Dream, Nightmare, Fresh, etc.). In all cases, he loves very widely and very deeply, but especially his brother. No matter which version he's facing.

So, when he learns that it's versions of his brother who are the most beloved, the ones who are causing all the turmoil? Well, who better to calm them down than the little brother who always made sure his own big bro was stable? And with his brother, asking to play a game or solve a puzzle always worked.

He has the power now, thanks to the souls he has custody of (Soul Magic infused in his Puzzle Cube), to mediate conflicts the way he's always wanted to. Maybe he'd make some friends along the way, too!

And he does. He's very good friends with Ichor (longstanding oc of mine) who is like his brother in a lot of ways, but expresses his feelings much more openly. Apparently he was hurt either way, so he chose not to hide away. They often play games, and visit new universes together. Ichor is sad, but Phish loves him anyways.

There are others too. He gets along very well with the Outertale siblings, often visiting to hang out with them. Chesstale is a place he is in VERY often. He meets ppl.

And I've lost motivation so this is where I end it but Phishbone is just a silly guy.

[payservewomen]

It had been quite a while since I’d met and/or paid Goddess Aurora….”I’d written your bitch ass off…If you want the honor of paying me in person, u need to earn it. Ur only allowed to send me $$, until I say otherwise” Is essentially what she said…along with “I’m mad about it too; I like fuckin ur bitch ass up”

She’s so good at manipulating me….she’s always several steps ahead….it’s a unique feeling, as tbh, I do feel like I’m much smarter than most ppl i’m around….I know she couldn’t possible read all that I say to her…not surprising considering, when I do go to meet her, I’ll generally take a lil extra adderall(Usually take less than prescribed dose; but that night, i took full dose, plus 2 more) so I was reallllly talkative….Sometimes I’ve felt like she’d enjoy seeing how obsessed I am etc, but it is a lot, and she made it clear that I need to stfu and serve…

How’d she do that?

Well…I was on twitter chatting with ppl etc. I heard her voice, laughing n chatting with her friend(A statuesque beauty, didn’t get a great look at her during my beating) As I’m sitting on the concrete lil wall outside her old building, I look up to see both of them. I had to be told to drop to my knees, as I was a bit taken aback by another gorgeous woman standing there, watching how pathetic I am. She didn’t seem especially scornful at first…i got to my knees, and she screamed at me to hurry tf up, and count out her money…,I’d remembered in the past, how she demanded all bills face the same way….I began to fix it and face them all the same way…it seemed she didn’t care about that, but did tell me to count it out for her, which she hadn’t done in the past….her demeanor n attitude made it seem like I should’ve known to count it out and have it ready to begin with….Im pretty sure that, in reality, no matter what i did or how i did it, it would’ve resulted in her yelling at, and ofc slapping tf outta me, HARD!

“Hurry tf up chicken skin, stupid ugly ass bitch boy”

I’d barely get 1-2 $20 bills in her beautifully manicured hand before my entire world felt like it’d been hit by an earthquake, as she’d land blow after blow to my head…Each slap felt like a punch….she must’ve put all her strength into it!

I wonder if they sounded like slaps or what they sounded like….I became dizzy after a few, making it harder to count her cash.

After counting the $240(id told her i had $200 for her) She order me to lower my pants….I did with great hesitation, as underneath, I had a black thong on…The thong was made with sheer fabric, leaving nothing to the imagination, and omg i was terrified pulling my pants down….she used top of my head to balance herself, and proceeded to kick my cock n balls fairly hard…did make me double over, but wasn’t too bad….then, she ordered me to spread my legs open further, and to do so I had to pull my shorts down past my knees….which was kinda nice because they acted like knee pads for my hurting knees…i spread my legs open wide, far as they could go…..she held onto my head again, taking a moment…maybe savoring the complete and total control, the power she knows she has over me….maybe enjoying seeing the absolute fear, terror in my eyes…Then she landed by far, the most painful blow to my balls Ive ever felt. Sometimes taking any shot to the balls makes a man double over in pain almost automatically, but if ya focus or try, ya usually don’t have to…but this time? Omg, makes me wonder how on earth slaves, when tied up can withstand kick after kick to their balls….because this one? I had no choices…I was doubled over in extreme pain, gasping for air…and as I’m on the ground….

[in-my-feels-probably]

CONGRATS ON 1k!!!

i’d like to request option 2, a romantic ship for outerbanks. doesn’t matter which character you choose but preferably a girl :) my pronouns are she/her. i am 5’6, i have long light brown hair and dark brown eyes. my favorite trope is friends to lovers. i would say my love language is physical touch or maybe acts of service?? i enjoy being able to do things (favors or random things) for the ppl i care about. I love spontaneous activities, nothing i do is really planned it’s more spur of the moment. my favorite season is summer, i love the beach. I also really like driving fast at night with all the windows down with loud music (probably not the best habit). i also enjoy reading, i write some poetry and i like writing letters to my friends. i don’t like coffee unless it’s very very sweet. i guess i just like sweet things which is weird bc i don’t like candy. but i’m obsessed with french toast and i think as of late i could qualify as a french toast expert. things that’s are important to me would be my family. i would do anything for my sister and my mom. overall, i’d say i appear pretty laidback. my friends say that i’m very adaptable. but i don’t usually share a lot about my feelings with most people and i have a huge fear of losing people i care about.

thank you thank you thank you :)))) and again congrats on 1,000 followers. that’s awesome

hi!

thanks for participating :)

i ship you with kiara!

i think she’d love how attentive you are with other people and how much you care about other peoples well being. she’d think it was really sweet. she would absolutely love spending time with you. she clearly loves the beach too, and she’d love hanging out with you and the group, but her favorite time would be when she was alone with you. she’d come around and pick you up so you could go drive along the back roads, and she could show you any new music she found.

i’m not sure if kiara would like reading, but she’d definitely like listening to you read to her. anything to sit with you and hear you talk. she’d find all the notes and letters really endearing. you’d leave them for all the group, and jj would probably tease you for it. not in a mean way, he would just find it kinda old fashioned. but kie would defend you, telling you how cute she thought it was that you made them for her.

i think she’s got a sweet tooth too, but i feel like she’s not a coffee drinker. more of a tea drinker, definitely matcha rather than coffee. but if she is a coffee drinker, she definitely makes her own at home. her parents probably have a keurig, and i can see her making coffees with extra sugar and cream to bring to you when you hang out. her love language is definitely acts of service, so it’s such a casual thing for her to do to you, she probably wouldn’t even think about it. just like the notes, its something you do for each other that you don’t really have to put a lot of thought into. you just care about each other so much, that things like that come naturally.

while kiara loves her parents, i think she considers her friends to be her real family. she would do absolutely anything for them, and she knows they’d do anything for her. she’d consider it an honor when you finally opened up to her and confided in her, and she’d know she could always confide in you. sometimes, you’d get nervous that one day, she would move on without you. she would literally never ever even consider it, but sometimes you get in your head. and then she’d do something sweet that reminded you just how much she likes you, and you’d forget about your worries.

on one of the days you were supposed to hang out with the group, she’d pick you up, handing you a coffee when you got in the car.

“thank you,” you’d smile, buckling your seatbelt. “where are we going. jj said the beach, right? chateau first, then?”

she’d hand you her phone, opening spotify. “will you connect my phone? i’ve got some songs i wanted to show you.”

“yeah,” you’d say, plugging it in as you swiped through her playlists. “so, the chateau?”

she’d smile sheepishly, glancing over at you. “yeah, yeah that’s where we’re going. but i thought we could take the long way? i, uh…made a playlist for you.”

you’d smile, leaning over to press a kiss to her cheek. “drive slow, love. we’ve got all the time we need.”

—

hope you liked this! thanks for participating :)

[everythingispirates]

watching a video essay abt misinformation rn and it's making me think many thoughts so like. sorry in advance but I'm gonna have to do some serious talk now, if very rambly.

the whole gay pirate divorce thing is like. it's funny I've very much settled on it being funny but it has also really opened my eyes to how misinformation spreads online. like believe it or not a lot of this was very carefully planned. I had ppl peer review the screenshots, I made sure to post it when I knew ppl were gonna be online and I recruited a bunch of friends outside the potc fandom to spread the post once it was done bc I knew it wasn't going to convince anyone within this blog's "circle". and the whole thing to begin with was very much like. shameless opportunism with ofmd trending like it did, I like to think I've made that clear. I was definitely shocked at how much traction it got which was why I freaked out a bit, but it was also in one way the exact reaction I had planned on, just on a larger scale.

and like a lot of people have gotten kinda pissy when I say they should have been wary of there not being sources and I do get that but also like it's definitely something to keep in mind for the future if you got tricked by the post. like, what ppl will say is that oh it's just a disney movie it's no big deal and that's def true but at the same time it's worth reflecting on which claims we consider worthy of fact checking you know? like if something feels like it should be true, or if it's something we want to believe in or just something we don't care enough abt to question like in this case we're def more likely to just take it at face value and pass it along. and in this particular case the debunked version of the post is definitely the most popular which is kind of a relief, but like it's common knowledge that debunkings or retractions of viral misinfo rarely get as much traction as the original claims.

the thing about me is like. I'm not particularly clever or anything. this wasn't a difficult scheme to pull off, all I needed to do was keep an eye on what tumblr was into right now, remember what they'd been into in the past and do some light photoshopping. like, the whole thing was very much designed for tumblr and it was honestly kind of fascinating watching tumblr take the bait so hard. and the thing is I might have fallen for something similar for the reasons I've already listed! like that whole dinosaur king post that showed up after mine is definitely something I might have read in passing and not questioned, I'm not writing all this to point the finger at people. I'm just trying to remind you how like. incredibly easy it is to get this stuff out there. like all you need is to know the platform you're on and its userbase decently well and have some creativity, then boom you're absolutely set. like not to rattle my own bones but need I remind you that pirates of the caribbean trended, if only for a short while? and once again that was after the post had been epically debunked but at that point it doesn't really matter anymore. if I were, say, paid by disney to do this for some reason which like for the record I was absolutely not, it wouldn't matter to them that the post got debunked bc people would still be talking about potc and thinking about potc and maybe even rewatching potc like do you get what I'm getting at here? when misinfo goes gigaviral it's gonna get whatever it's about a lot of attention, even when the original claim has been proven false.

anyway my point here is like idk trust no one I guess? or at least like. the next time you see a post that sounds reasonable but has no sources remember the time I out of all people managed to trick a good chunk of the tumblr crows into rewatching pirates of the caribbean

[leonardalphachurch]

actually curious about your onions on wash :0c I feel like he is not talked about often. or maybe I forget lol

it’s funny bc wash is literally one of our favorite characters but yeah we never talk about him

First impression

“jesus christ this guy sucks so fucking bad why did caboose have to bring him along >:(“

(though uh. as alpha the impression was “oooOoohhh baby? baby? this is a baby? angry baby?”)

Impression now

wash is a complicated character. he’s changed so goddamn much over the course of the show you can literally pick your favorite version of him and just decide to stick with it. really liked his role as like a mentor/teacher i wish they did more with that. was honestly never really a fan of the brain injury storyline but writing it out sucks way more than it being there in the first place.

Favorite moment

dudes got so many fucking moments man. killing donut was cool shame it got made meaningless by donut living. him dramatically staring into the sunset and going “friends….” in season 10 is so good so fucking funny. love how overdramatic he is at all times. eating bananas in helmet is good. freckles shake is good. if you ignore the ship tease telling carolina to take off her clothes is so funny bc he’s so fucking awkward man. washnut buddy cop moments WONDERFUL. all his time travel stuff in 17 was good.

Idea for a story

OH i got a uhhh noir style washnut time cop story that never really got fleshed out but was basically like, him and donut going rogue and trying to take down the corrupt time authority. some of the mechanics were fun writing in a detective noir voice was a blast though it was only like 500 words. i probably won’t ever go back to it but yknow if people are interested i can talk some

Unpopular opinion

if i was to write wash in freelancer i would NOT write him as a baby rookie however i don’t necessarily think it’s bad? i don’t love it but i don’t hate it i just would’ve written him differently. which i think is unpopular since most ppl seem to love pfl era wash

wash does not regret his past. he isn’t PROUD of it but he does not dwell on it. he did what he did and now he is doing better. that is what matters. he has no qualms about killing or violence or doing bad things. carolina has this personality of regret and self blame over the past and trying to avoid killing now. stop giving wash carolina’s personality he already has one.

okay i wrote the headcanon one so spoiler but wash does NOT hate epsilon. i don’t know how popular it actually is but i’ve seen the take before and like. do you HEAR the softness in his voice in the season 8 finale. go two questions down for more vvv

Favorite relationship

PLATONIC carwash is fantastic. still hold a torch out for carwash siblings even though we don’t ever write it or anything. spiritually they are siblings. platonic with tucker also great. they’re just. they’re good friends your honor.

Favorite headcanon

wash cared a LOT about epsilon he just never really knew how to express or feel it. the feelings were/are INCREDIBLY complicated but a not insubstantial amount of his desire to take down freelancer was fueled by wanting justice for epsilon. wash still put himself first obviously but if he could protect epsilon he would. he doesn’t let himself think about it but he regrets that he never had the opportunity to reconcile with epsi. it was just never the right time.

also plural wash is just so good man. it’s just good.